00:00
00:00
ttbloodlusttt
Art. Music. Or. Bust.

Age 38, Female

Writer/Artist

Colorado Technical University

Illinois

Joined on 7/24/13

Level:
2
Exp Points:
28 / 50
Exp Rank:
> 100,000
Vote Power:
2.21 votes
Rank:
Civilian
Global Rank:
> 100,000
Blams:
0
Saves:
1
B/P Bonus:
0%
Whistle:
Normal
Medals:
2

To Eclipse, Another Full Moon

Posted by ttbloodlusttt - July 28th, 2015


When your eyes burn

do you think I'll see

In your sleep you turn

and search for me

and when death takes your hand

did you know it was mine

my love all along

a sorrow redefined 

given a penny to express

a thought and a mourning

this bliss set to depress

my sunny heart, deforming

my smile, my bliss

I can say goodnight, badnight

Withdraw from a kiss

Wearing a new insight

for all we wander we weep we keep

and for all we love we eat we drink

but for the never we love and swell and drown

and for all I laugh I sink into frown

this is my sorrow this is my disguise

a mask fusing into my face

chiseled deeper with the lies

for I have only make belive to grasp

And only anguish ever lasts

tonight I'll break the shadows and consume

their delicious melancholy filling the room

and the torment that drowns me in my bed

is the desire I've come to ruefully dread

who could I be that provides sanctuary

what could I be that mean anything

to forget I was and ever will be

to sleep in a bed become my cemetery

 

A star, my sky, twist into wrist

a fork, a knife, speghetti veins drip

for nothing could be blue if red exists

coat my lips with death, with dismiss


Comments

That's an exceptionally flowing and powerful poem, almost reminds me of Otep's early lyrics/poems, though I don't think she ever delved into losing fatal amounts of pasta sauce on purpose.

I enjoyed it, but worry about the author who wrote it! If a mod read this, she/he might think "Oh shit, Wade might have to trace the IP address and call the local cops to check..." Maybe a disclaimer at the bottom saying the author recovered from composing?

Most, if not all, of my poetry is so very dark. I speak the most truth when darkness floods in. I know that I have daydreamed about what it would be like to pursue the darkness, ride those coattails into oblivion and never see the light... yet, here I am bound if not but for a single purpose. For if I were to submit to that weakness, I would fail the one, tiny person who relies on me to give him a better, brighter future. I'd be a coward to abandon him to put to rest my own manifestations, delusions, and horrible truths.

I hope that calms your concern, even though this reply is so very late. At least you know I live. And I've also been buried in school work and all sorts of dreary bullshit.

I hope you are well.

Thanks for replying... a bit late, yeah, but beats not at all! Glad to hear you're staying strong for the little guy :)

Nah, haven't been well, also been homeless and sandbagged by the people who finally bought my childhood home, as well as my siblings. Really sucks being a nobody, having no one to turn to for emotional support

After re-reading your last response (6 months later), do you have a son? If so, that has to be a good thing, life's too shitty to go it alone or so it would seem.. I'm a childless bachelor :p I guess I consider the kids here a sort of proxy family, such as it is. Worse thing a kid can endure, is a lack of attention, being ignored.. and if you've got work, ugh. Ah well, good things come in small (brief) packages, its sparseness adds to the sweetness.

Hello

I do have a son. I'm doing what I can but my ex is doing all HE can to keep from him. I made that life change to leave my ex and felt that it would be best for my son to stay in the place where he had a permanent bed atm. Well, that decision has come back around. No matter what I do to help- I'm paying support and jumping hurdles- he won't allow me to see him. He's just not being reasonable.

You know you're welcome to chat with me. I'm not the most timely at responding but you could always try me on Skype. Probably a chance my responses will day a couple days at minimum. Haha.

I hope things begin to look up for you as I keep hoping they will for me.

*sigh*